AWESOMENESS

Pues es bueno saberlo... :P

The Director Who Films Your Life Test

Your result for The Director Who Films Your Life Test...

Kevin Smith

Your film will be 50% romantic, 47% comedy, 23% complex plot, and a $ 25 million budget.

Kevin will take your slacker life and turn it into the cult classic it deserves to be --- like Mallrats (just kidding). If you can handle the menacing presence of Jay and Silent Bob all throughout your film, then Kevin is willing to oblige. Basically, he can take the lives of people who don't have much of a life and make it entertaining, so you're in good hands. Go watch your copy of Clerks, now.

¡The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny!

Old Godzilla was hopping around
Tokyo City like a big playground
when suddenly Batman burst from the shade
and hit Godzilla with a Batgrenade.
Godzilla got pissed and began to attack
but didn't expect to be blocked by Shaq
who proceeded to open up a can of Shaq Fu
when Aaron Carter came out of the blue.

And he started beating up Shaquille O'Neal
then they both got flattened by the Batmobile
but before it could make it back to the Batcave
Abraham Lincoln popped out of his grave
and took an AK47 out from under his hat
and blew Batman away with a rat-a-tat-tat
but he ran out of bullets and he ran away
because Optimus Prime came to save the day.

This is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny,
good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see,
and only one will survive, I wonder who it will be.
This is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny

Godzilla took a bite out of Optimus Prime
like Scruff McGruff took a bite out of crime
and then Shaq came back covered in a tire track
but Jackie Chan jumped out and landed on his back
and Batman was injured, and trying to get steady
when Abraham Lincoln came back with a machete
but suddenly something caught his leg and he tripped.
Indiana Jones took him out with his whip.

Then he saw Godzilla sneaking up from behind
and he reached for his gun which he just couldn't find
'cause Batman stole it and he shot and he missed
and Jackie Chan deflected it with his fist
then he jumped in the air and did a summersault
while Abraham Lincoln tried to pole vault
onto Optimus Prime, but they collided in the air
then they both got hit by a Care Bear Stare, oooh.

This is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny,
good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see
and only one will survive, I wonder who it will be.
This is the Ultimate Showdown...

Angels sang out in immaculate chorus,
down from the heavens descended Chuck Norris,
who deliver a kick which could shatter bones,
into the crotch of Indiana Jones
who fell over on the ground, writhing in pain
as Batman changed back into Bruce Wayne
but Chuck saw through his clever disguise
and he crushed Batman's head in between his thighs.

Then Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White and
Monty Python and the Holy Grail's Black Knight and
Benito Mussolini and The Blue Meanie and
Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie,
Robocop, the Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader
Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger,
Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan,
Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan,
all came out of no where lightning fast
and they kicked Chuck Norris in his cowboy ass.
It was the bloodiest battle the world ever saw
with civilians looking on total awe.

And the fight raged on for a century
many lives were claimed, but eventually
the champion stood, the rest saw their better:
Mr. Rogers in a bloodstained sweater

This is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny,
good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see
and only one will survive, I wonder who it will be.
This is the Ultimate Showdown...
This is the Ultimate Showdown...
This is the Ultimate Showdown...
of Ultimate Destiny.

El Extraordinario Calamar Murciélago (wtf?)

Tenía que hacerlo... por Dios, tenía que hacerlo...

Sigh...

¿Eing?

Gente rara visita este blog a través de google.

Gente MUY rara.

(Eso si, ahora como exista una especie de calamar con ese nombre le pido a Chuck Norris que me propine una patada giratoria)

Guerra de las Espadas Infinitas

Continuando con lo del post anterior: Eiichiro Oda, autor de One Piece, debe haberse leído lo perpetrado por Masashi Kishimoto en el episodio de Naruto de la semana pasada que comentamos aqui y se ha picado. Porque vale, Zoro sigue solo con tres espadas, pero…

… ¡se ha multiplicado por tres (hala, a lo kage bunshin)! ¡Nueve espadas rajando simultáneamente!

Como ha dicho Usagi en su sabiduría “Los dibujantes se picaran unos con otros, hasta que solo se vean espadas en cada capitulo”

Quotidionia Delirante XVIII

Leyendo manga uno se encuentra de todo.

Pongamos, por ejemplo, a este señor de aquí:

Roronoa Zoro, uno de los principales personajes de One Piece (serie que algunos conoceréis, otros no; y si no la conocéis, vergüenza debería daros), pirata y espadachín. Y usa tres espadas al mismo tiempo.

Tres. Espadas. Al. Mismo. Tiempo.

En su momento me pareció una fantasmada gordísima ¡y lo dice alguien que se vio todo Dragon Ball! Pero es que dependiendo del contexto hasta las fantasmadas tienen grados y otras cosas de One Piece acabarían superando esto también. Pero volviendo al meollo… fantasmada gorda. Fantasmada que, como suele ocurrir, mola un huevo. Tres espadas en combate a la vez, una de ellas sostenida con la boca (wtf??) y el tío además es capaz de seguir vocalizando mientras tanto. La de Dios, vamos.

Pero al igual que en Hollywood hacen remakes intentando hacerlo todo en plan Más-Grande-Y-Mejor, en el mundo del manga uno puede leer el capítulo de esta semana de Naruto y encontrar esto:

Ayvalaostiaputa.

De repente lo de Zoro parece la cosa más plausible del mundo y yo no puedo evitar preguntarme una vez más que carajo se fuma Kishimoto de cuando en cuando.